Oh Gods!
by Pink and Purple1330
Summary: When one girl is turned into a vampire her life becomes chaos. From a werewolf love, to Lady Gaga singing Gods, Fiona finds herself in a world she could never imagine. But when she angers some Gods, she may find out she has some even bigger problems.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own, Twilight, nor any of the characters we use from any works that aren't our own. We only own our original characters.**

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Chapter One

There once was a girl who was very, very strange. She always wore black and was depressed. She told everyone that she was a vampire, and would suck her own blood when she cut herself. But she wasn't really a vampire…that is until one day… she got bitten by a vampire. She couldn't remember anything at all; all she could remember were bright blood-red eyes. When she woke up, she was on the beach. She was very thirsty, but there was no one around. So she went off into the forest. There she found a vampire, but he was different than the one who created her, he had golden eyes.

He said, "Hello," to her. But all she could do was stare at him. He looked at her intensely, and ran off.

She looked to her left, and there was another person staring at her. Totally different from the first. He actually looked human. But then he shifted into a giant wolf! He jumped at her head, but she ducked. And she ran off, but the werewolf chased her. They ran for a really long time, but then the werewolf stopped, with a friendly look. She was suddenly reminded of a pet dog she used to have when she was nine. She went to pet the werewolf, and it ran away. The girl sat down on the grass, a little creeped, and a few hours later, he approached her.

He reached his arms out, as if to hug her. She looked up at him and hugged him, not sure what she was getting into. But hugging him was better than anything she had ever felt in her whole life. She felt truly at home in his arms, and snuggled up next to him.

But then, he pushed her back, and she heard a sharp growl, and saw some fellow vampires running. And she witnessed a fight! But then she saw the faces of the two vampires and realized that they were her two twin brothers, who had gone missing two years ago. She wanted to fight, but she didn't. Instead she yelled, "Stop!"

And then a whole pack of wolves emerged from the woods, and killed her two brothers. She couldn't believe that she had finally found them again and now they were gone. She felt overwhelmed with emotions. She had strength, and she could do pretty much anything she wanted to. But she kept it under control because she didn't want to hurt her werewolf. She just snuggled up against him. She felt truly at home in his arms, like this was where she was meant to be. It was weird how comfortable she felt with a stranger, but it felt right.

"What's your name?" she asked her werewolf.

"Josh," he replied, "and yours?"

"I'm Fiona," she answered.

"I think I've imprinted on you, Fiona," he said to her, "I think I'm in love with you."

She was touched by this word; she had never heard it from anyone or anything. She leaned in to kiss him when the pack of werewolves came back. When they saw them kissing, they yelled at Josh for betraying his kind. Fiona was upset. She didn't want another fight. But Josh told the other werewolves that he had imprinted on Fiona.

The wolves laughed at that, because they thought he was kidding, but he gave them a very serious look. Then the wolves didn't know what to do. This had never happened before. But Fiona seemed different than other vampires… more human, if that were possible.

Everyone was confused, and there was awkward silence for at least two minutes. Then the pack ran off. They warned Josh that they could never bring Fiona anywhere near their land again. Josh was so sad about that. He needed her in his life! And Fiona felt guilty for putting Josh through this. She offered to leave so that he could go back home. Josh didn't want Fiona to leave, so he offered to walk home with her. But Fiona wasn't going back to her old home; she had to find a new one. Josh wanted to take her to his home, but it was off limits now. He didn't dare sneak her in. The wolves might come and kill her in the middle of the night.

So Josh decided to run away with Fiona, somewhere where it didn't matter your species, and where they could live happily forever. They fled to England in hopes of a better life there, but found that both their species there were shunned upon. Now they didn't know where to go.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading guys! Please tell us what you think! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

_So Josh decided to run away with Fiona, somewhere where it didn't matter your species, and where they could live happily forever. They fled to England in hopes of a better life there, but found that both their species there were shunned upon. Now they didn't know where to go._

**Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters from Twilight, nor any other source that we use; nor Lady Gaga or "Bad Romance" and "Love Game."**

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Chapter Two

They decided to go to Russia and found a small yellow house. They walked in and then found a very old woman sitting there. She welcomed them in and said that it had been a long time since she had seen a vampire and a werewolf. She looked friendly. And Fiona smiled.

"Can you show us where our room is?" she asked.

"Sure." The lady said. She showed them, gave them the key, and Josh and Fiona went in.

They spent several weeks there living happily, but they couldn't get it out of their heads that the woman seemed a bit… different.

One night, Josh and Fiona were out in front of the house sitting together on the same bench, cuddling. Fiona heard someone in the bushes, and there was the lady, spying!

The lady pulled out a wand and said some words and a piece of Fiona's and Josh's hair came flying into her hand.

"I needed a vampire and a werewolf's hair for my potion," she said.

"What do you need a potion for?" Fiona screamed!

"Oh, just for some reasons you don't need to know about," she grinned wickedly, her toothless mouth truly frightening.

Fiona ran up to her and pulled her hair, so fast that it was hard to see her. The lady zapped her with her arm when suddenly a bolt of lightning struck and a great big man flew out of the sky. He was ten times the size of a normal man!

The giant man started chasing after Fiona and Josh, but while he was chasing them he kept singing this chant, "rah rah ah ah ah roma romama gaga oh la la!" Over and over!

"I am the god Zeus!" he roared, "And I am the father of Lady Gaga! I will pulverize you unless you declare your loyalty to Lady Gaga!"

_EWW! Lady Gaga!_ Fiona thought. She hated pop culture during her human life. But Josh laughed.

"I love Lady Gaga!" he said, "Let's sing 'Love Game'!"

"Huh?" Fiona said.

"It's a Lady Gaga song," he explained, and he started singing it! Fiona was disgusted.

"I hate that song!" she said.

"Well sing it anyways! Unless you want to get crushed!"

"Fine," she said! She started singing, much to her embarrassment, and Zeus seemed satisfied.

"Good," he said, "and in return, I will grant you one wish."

"Let's make the decision together Josh, I don't know what I want."

"Ok," Josh said, "well do we want to get away from this witch?"

"Yes, but I also want to be with you no matter what country we're in! Josh, I…I…love you!"

He kissed her, and it seemed like forever. Zeus was getting impatient.

"What do you want?" he roared, truly frightening.

"Ummmm…" Fiona looked at Josh, "What do we do?"

Josh took a deep breath, "We will ask you to never let us be forced apart and for no harm to come to us."

"That's two!" roared Zeus, "Which one do you want?"

Fiona walked towards Zeus, "Come on Zeusy Weusy! You can give us two. Right?"

Fiona batted her eyelashes. Zeus became full of himself and Josh looked very jealous.

"Well," Zeus said, "I have never had a demigod vampire child before…"

"Yeah, so?" Fiona said.

"Well," he wagged his eyebrows, "if I were the first god to have a half vampire child, I would be the best! And then maybe I would grant you two wishes."

"Ummm, well," Fiona hesitated, "Will you let me be with Josh? He's a werewolf you know?"

Zeus looked puzzled, and then managed to say, "Fine. Here's the deal if you want two wishes. Find me a vampire who will fall in love with me. Then I will grant you two wishes."

"Uugghh! Why?" Fiona whined, "Why a vampire?"

"So that I can be the first god to have a half vampire, half god child! Do as I say or you will only get one wish!" Zeus roared.

"Fine!" Fiona said, "But where am I supposed to find a vampire? The only vampire I know is me?"

"Unless you want to do the job yourself," he said, "I suggest you find one!"

"Fine! Come on Josh, let's go find a vampire!"


	3. Chapter 3

_"Fine!" Fiona said, "But where am I supposed to find a vampire? The only vampire I know is me?"_

_"Unless you want to do the job yourself," he said, "I suggest you find one!"_

_"Fine! Come on Josh, let's go find a vampire!"_

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Chapter Three

He agreed. And so they went off in search of one. The only place Fiona could think of that might have vampires was Transylvania, home of Dracula! (Dun Dun Dun!)

"This place is kind of creepy, Josh," Fiona said.

"It's ok," he said, laughing. She reached for his hand, she smiled. When suddenly out of the closet popped Dracula himself! It was about to rip Josh's head off for being a werewolf when Fiona jumped at Dracula's neck and she winced. So Fiona pushed Dracula so hard she landed next to a girl by the name of Bella Swan!

Bella Swan was a vampire too, but one with golden eyes, like Fiona had seen on the one before. She was with another male vampire. They both helped Fiona destroy Dracula. Fiona felt a little guilty after her first killing of someone. She felt really strange. Apparently Bella could sense it

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I've just never killed anyone before," Fiona said.

"Not even to hunt?" Bella asked.

"No," said Fiona, "I feed off of animal's blood."

Bella looked really shocked, and out of the corner she saw Edward eyeing Josh.

"Wow," Bella said, "Do you need any more help?"

Fiona told Bella and Edward about their problem. Bella said that there were a whole bunch of vampires in Italy so they decided to try there. Before they left for Italy, Josh told Fiona that he missed being around the werewolf pack. So she asked Bella if she knew any werewolves and Bella said, "Yeah, there's a whole pack in Forks, where we're from. They would understand your situation because one of them imprinted on a vampire too, our daughter."

"Do you want to meet them?" Fiona asked Josh.

"Yeah! I do!" Josh said, "They might be able to help us with this."

"Okay, we will," Fiona said, "but we need to do this ASAP!"

So they went to Forks and Josh decided to stay there with the werewolf pack while Fiona, Bella, and Edward went to Italy.

"How are we going to find love for Zeus, Bella?" Fiona asked.

"There are plenty of female vampires in Italy," Bella said, "We'll find someone who wants to date Zeus."

They were finally there and Fiona tensed. _What am I going to do?_ Fiona asked herself. Suddenly she yelled, "Does anyone want to date Zeus?"

And that's when a young female vampire named Jane stepped forward.

"Do I have permission master?" she asked a vampire behind her.

Aro looked confused, but sighed anyways and nodded. Edward gave Fiona a look that said that Jane was trouble, but Fiona didn't care.

"And why should we pick you?" Fiona asked.

Jane just smiled sweetly and stared at Fiona. An unbearable pain went through her. Suddenly Fiona fell to the ground, screaming and yelling, "STOP! PLEASE!"

And then Jane smiled sweetly and the pain subsided.

"You did that?" Fiona asked, incredulous. Jane nodded.

"I can do that if you don't let me date Zeus," she said.

Fiona looked over at Edward and he looked very upset. LIVID. Fiona looked at Jane.

"I'll let you date him, as long as you don't so that," Fiona said.

Jane looked at her and said, "Fine," she shrugged, "at least not to you."

Fiona then led Jane back to where she had met Zeus, to the old witch's house in Russia.

"Hello Zeus," Jane said politely.

"Hello madam," Zeus said, and then reached down to kiss her hand. Then Zeus said, "Come with me and I will grant you all your heart's desire."

Fiona said, "what about our wishes?"

But Zeus and Jane disappeared with a pop.

"Zeus! WHERE ARE YOU? ZEUS!"

And then Zeus roared angrily from the sky, "I will grant you your wishes only when Jane becomes pregnant!"

He disappeared again. Then Edward pointed out that vampires couldn't get pregnant.

"Agggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh! Then why did you bring me her!" Zeus screamed!

"Zeus, you asked for a vampire!"

Then he said, "Fine! If I can't have a vampire child, I'll have a werewolf one! Bring me a girl werewolf!"

Fiona said, "Ok." And they went back to Forks to get Leah, the only girl werewolf.


	4. Chapter 4

_Then he said, "Fine! If I can't have a vampire child, I'll have a werewolf one! Bring me a girl werewolf!"_

_Fiona said, "Ok." And they went back to Forks to get Leah, the only girl werewolf._

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Chapter Four

When they returned to Forks, Josh looked angry, "We need to talk, Fiona."

"What about?" she asked.

"I…kind of kissed someone…while you were away…" Josh said. Fiona looked really angry.

All she could say was, "How could you? Who?"

"Ummm…" Josh said.

"Tell me!" Fiona said.

"Ok," Josh said, "It was a toad."

"You kissed a freaking toad?"

"Well why are you so upset? It was just a toad!"

But Fiona knew it wasn't just a toad when she saw a beautiful princess come up to sit by Josh.

"I was the toad," she said.

The princess looked a lot like Meghan Fox.

"What do you want with Josh?" Fiona said.

"Well, I needed some guy to kiss me so I could turn back into a human," she said, "so I pretended to drown so Josh would give me mouth to mouth." She grinned deviously.

"Hmph!" Fiona said, "Well I have one question. Did you enjoy giving her mouth to mouth?" Fiona's eyes were piercing.

"I…no!" Josh said quivering under her glare, "it was a toad! Of course not!"

"Hmph!" said Meghan Fox.

"Hahaha," Fiona teased.

"I won't give up that easily!" Meghan said.

"You might as well!" Fiona said, ""Cause he's all mine!"

Fiona went to kiss Josh, but Meghan stopped her. Meghan shoved her out of the way and went to place her own lips on Josh, but Fiona got there first.

"You don't want to mess with me," Fiona said, "I'm a vampire."

"Hahaha! I'm really scared!" Meghan scoffed, "Move!"

Then suddenly Fiona grabbed Meghan's neck. Meghan nearly choked and sputtered, "Please let me go!"

"Will you leave Josh alone?" Fiona said.

"Yes! I will, just please let me go!" Meghan said.

"Fine!" Fiona let go, and Meghan ran off.

Josh gave Fiona a weird look and said, "You didn't have to choke her, you knew I loved you more."

Fiona smiled, and then told Josh about their new dilemma.

"Well, Leah's kind of dating Justin Bieber right now," Josh said.

"Oh gosh!" said Fiona, "I hate even more than…" she lowered her voice so that Zeus wouldn't hear her, "…even more than Lady Gaga!"

"Josh, what do we do now?" Fiona whined.

"Ummm we can force them to break up," he said, "I don't think she imprinted on him."

"You're doing it Josh! I'm sick and tired of this!" Fiona whined.

"Ummm," Josh said.

"Please!" Fiona begged.

And Josh said, "Fine, since this is a task for werewolves, I'll go. Who wants to come with?"

Jacob and Seth volunteered so the three of them set off to LA to find Justin Bieber and Leah. They got to LA and realized that Justin Bieber had a private concert.

"How are we going to get in there?" Jacob asked, "We'll look totally gay with all those screaming girls at that concert."

Seth grinned, "Follow me," he said.

He went up to the security guard and told him his name, "I'm Leah's brother," he said, "You know, Justin Bieber's girlfriend's brother?"

"Really? You're so famous, Leah talks about how you're so annoying!" the man said, "You can go in!"

They all walked in and a piercing sound hurt their ears. It was hundreds of teen and tween girls screaming at the top of their lungs. They searched and searched until they finally found Leah.

"Leah!" Josh said, exasperated.

"What do you want?" she sneered unpleasantly.

"Well…" Jacob began, "you need to date Zeus for us."

"Why would I do that?" she screamed, "I have an awesome boyfriend!"

"You don't really like him!" Jacob said, "All you want is his money!"

Leah looked very angry, "that is so not true!" Leah said.

"I heard your thoughts Leah!"

And then Leah screamed at Jacob, "you rotten excuse for a friend! I do NOT just love him for his money!"

Suddenly, Zeus came down from the sky and said, "I will destroy you all if you do not find me a werewolf love!"

"I HATE YOU! Why'd you have to pick me? Jacob this is all your fault!" Leah cried, "I don't want to date Zeus!"

"Why is it my fault?" Jacob cried, "I didn't get you into this mess! And you're the only girl werewolf we know! You have to!"

"Well I'm not gunna, I love Justin, and he loves me!" Leah said.

"Well if he loved you so much, then why is he kissing her?" Jacob screamed.

Leah turned around and saw Justin not only kissing one girl, but kissing nearly everyone at the private concert! Leah got so angry; she almost lost control of herself. She got up and started walking towards Justin. She was about to transform into a wolf when Seth stopped her.

"He's not worth it," he said, "just date Zeus and save all our lives."

She agreed and they headed off to Russia. Zeus saw Leah and he said, "Is she the werewolf girl?"

Josh said, "Yes."

Zeus then took Leah off into the skies roaring, "I'll grant you your wishes when she's pregnant!"

Leah said, "what? Pregnant? I really don't want to be pregnant!"

Zeus looked shocked, "Why not?"

"'Cause I'm only 18!" she cried.

"So?" asked Zeus.

"And 'cause the whole birthing process really scares me! I don't want to have a baby!"

"But I'll be there!" Zeus cried.

"So?" said Leah, "You're just going to leave me like all the other women you got pregnant in mythology!"

"I won't leave you Lillian!" Zeus said.

"Ummm, my names not Lillian, its Leah," said Leah.

"Oh," said Zeus, "well then Leah, I won't leave you Leah!"

Leah rolled her eyes at this.

"But you're still, like, a billion years older than me," she said.

"So?" Zeus pulled out a potion, and poured it on Leah, and Leah fell in love with Zeus.

Suddenly, Leah said, "Oh Zeus! You're the sexiest god I've ever seen!"

"He's the only god she's ever seen," mumbled Seth, but Zeus didn't hear.

"I'll be back when she's preggers!" roared Zeus and they disappeared.

"Uhhh that was awkward,"Seth said, "hearing my sister calling someone sexy is just—wrong!"

Jacob and Josh laughed.

"Let's call Fiona; she can come back to Russia."

"Call Nessie too."

"Ok."


	5. Chapter 5

_"Let's call Fiona; she can come back to Russia."_

_"Call Nessie too."_

_"Ok."_

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Chapter Five

So they called Fiona and Nessie and they both came to Russia and the boys filled them in on what had happened. Fiona kissed Josh and thanked him for getting Leah.

They were finally at their home. Alone. That hadn't happened in a while. So they decided to have a romantic dinner and then Josh proposed to Fiona.

He said, "I love you and I always will. You are my everything and we can do anything together. Will you marry me?"

"Yes! I will!" Fiona said happily. Josh leaned in to kiss Fiona and then she kissed him back eagerly and they went upstairs to their bedroom and Josh closed the door behind them. And Fiona stopped.

"Josh should we, I feel kind of nervous," she said.

"Don't worry, there's nothing to be nervous about," said Josh, "I love you no matter what."

So Fiona said, "Ok."

And they first just started kissing and then it progressed to something more. Then they did some stuff… And then you get the picture!

So the next morning they got up and found Nessie and Jacob. Fiona showed Nessie her engagement ring and Nessie squealed.

"Congrats!" she told them.

"Thanks!" She said.

"Fiona?" Nessie asked her.

"Yeah?" Fiona said.

"You don't look as pale as normal, did something happen?" Nessie asked her.

"Well, ummm…you know…" Fiona began. If she could blush, she would have.

Nessie grinned, "Thought so," she said.

And suddenly Zeus appeared with a pregnant Leah!

"Ok Zeus!" said Fiona, "Leah's now pregnant, we want our two wishes!"

But Zeus laughed.

"What's so funny?" Fiona said.

"You're not as pale!" he said.

"ZEUS!" Fiona screamed.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, "Here are your wishes."

So he granted them that no harm would ever come to them again. And Fiona and Josh would never be forced apart. Then he left saying, "I'll be back when she gives birth!"

"Yay!" Fiona screamed. She was so happy. Josh came and picked her up, and kissed her.

"I love you." Fiona said, "Now let's go make wedding plan!"

Nine months later Leah was screaming. Seth called Fiona and Josh and Nessie and Jake.

"She's giving birth!" he called. They came right away.

But Jake asked, "Where's Zeus?"

"I'm right here!" Zeus said, "It's ok Leah…just calm down…CALM DOWN!"

"THIS THING IS HURTING ME! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT OR SOMEONE WILL BE HURT!" Leah screamed.

"She always did have a temper," Seth said.

Then Leah and screamed and screamed and finally the baby came out!

"Aw! She's beautiful," Leah said after she finally calmed down.

"She is isn't she?" Fiona said, "What do you think Zeus?"

Zeus said, "She's perfect. But are you sure she will carry on the werewolf gene?"

"Yeah. Definitely," Jacob said, "nothing to know worry about."

"Good," Zeus said, "Well I've got get going! When she's twelve, send her to Camp Half-Blood for the summer, that's where all demigod kids go. Bye Leah!"

And he left. Fiona stopped him, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Back to Mt. Olympus," he said, "I have to perform my duties as a god!"

"Oh no you don't! Your…ummm…partner just had a baby! You have to let that wait!" Fiona yelled, "Get in there now!"

"NO!" Zeus said. Fiona showed her teeth.

"Fine!" Zeus said, "But only for a few days! I am a god and I must perform my duties as such! It is written in the ancient law! And I have powers that can overcome your vampire powers!"

"Zeus, you're such a womanizer!" Fiona said.

Zeus looked at Fiona and said, "That's what the gods do! Haven't you ever read mythology?"

"Yes," said Fiona, "but that doesn't mean its right!"

"That's how it is!" said Zeus.

"Well you should be the one to change that!" Fiona cried.

"I can't!" Zeus said.

"Well you should be ashamed. How are you going to tell Leah this?" Fiona screamed.

Zeus said, "I don't know yet, but I will have to!"

"Well you better start thinking!" Fiona said, "But for now, just go. I'll tell her you'll be back later. I can't stand to be around a slut anymore."

Fiona ran off and left Zeus. Zeus was upset, but he went back to Mt. Olympus. Fiona went inside to Leah and her baby.

"What did you name her?" she asked.

"Well, I named her Stefani, since Zeus is the god of Lady Gaga!" Leah said, "Well, ummm, where is Zeus anyways?"

"He ummm…he had to go back to Mt. Olympus," Fiona said, "But I think he said he'd be back."

"Oh," Leah said, "Perfect timing. Well…ummm…I think you can go Fiona, I know you have a wedding to plan. I'll get Nessie and Jake to help me."

"Are you sure?" Fiona asked, "'Cause our wedding can wait if you need us."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Leah said, "I'll be fine."

"Ok," Fiona said, "Bye Leah, bye Stefani."

She waved to Jacob and Nessie, and then they were on their way home.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Ok," Fiona said, "Bye Leah, bye Stefani."_

_She waved to Jacob and Nessie, and then they were on their way home._

* * *

Chapter Six

"So I guess we now plan out wedding," Fiona said to Josh.

"Ok," he said, "who are going to be your bridesmaids?"

"Ummm," Fiona thought back to her "old" family, home in Colorado. Her mom, her dad, and her grandparents, cousins, etc. How could her family not be there? And yet, how could she invite them? Her being what she was? She decided to invite them, but her bridesmaids would be Nessie, Bella, and Leah.

_This was going to be interesting. My mom probably thinks I'm DEAD! I've been away for, like, six months. _Eww…just thinking of this made Fiona sick.

"This is going to be awkward," she said. "What about you parents, Josh?"

"Ummm…well. My whole family hates vampires…so ummm… I don't know what to do, Fiona."

"Yeah," she said, "I get it. And my family doesn't even know vampires and werewolves exist! I'm way to pale though! My mom will ask me about it! What do I do about that?"

"Hmmm," said Josh, "I don't' know if you should tell her the truth, she might get scared away… Maybe tell her you've been out of the sun?"

"Even if I had been out of the sun I wouldn't be this pale," Fiona said, "umm, Josh, did I really look less pale after we umm…you know?"

"Well, you kind of did," Josh admitted, "Do you think we should do it again before we see your parents? You still didn't look that much less pale."

"I think so…Maybe," Fiona said. Josh looked really happy, but Fiona looked embarrassed.

"What?" Josh said.

"I don't know," Fiona said, "It's just weird to think about, especially to…er…do that right before I see my parents again."

"Uh…I see!" Josh said.

"I also hope my mom doesn't ask me about it. I kind of had an abstinence ring during my human life," Fiona explained.

"Oh," said Josh, "Yeah, my parents wouldn't be too thrilled either. But it's not like you were sleeping with any random guy. We were engaged by then."

"Yeah…I guess you're right!" Fiona said, "I'm really happy I'm engaged to you!"

"Really?" Josh said, "Why?"

"'Cause I love you!" Fiona said, "I've never loved anyone like this before! And I want to be with you forever! If I'm condemned to this immortal life, at least I'm in it with you!"

"You know what, Fiona?" Josh said.

"What?" Fiona said.

"You're just awesome, and I love you so much and I—"

Fiona kissed him.

"I know," she said softly and kissed him enthusiastically.

"Ok Josh, we have work to do," Fiona said, breaking away from the kiss.

"Fine," he said.

"Should I go to my parents' house or call them on the phone?" Fiona asked.

"Probably call them first," Josh said, "then they won't get scared and not recognize you because of your pale skin."

"Okay, I'll call them first… this will be hard," Fiona said. She dialed the number, and her mom answered.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi, Mom?" said Fiona.

"Who is this?" said her mom.

"Um…it's Fiona," Fiona said.

"FIONA!" her mom yelled, "Where have you been? We were looking for you?"

"Well…" began Fiona, "I kind of…got turned into a vampire."

"A vampire!" Fiona's mom said, "Fiona, seriously, stop playing with me. Tell me where you are!"

"You can come and see me if you want," Fiona said, "I'm in Russia. I'm about to get married and I want you to come to my wedding."

"Married? You are not getting married!" her mom yelled.

"Yes I am!" said Fiona, "I'm over 18; I'm old enough to do what I want!"

"No you are not getting married!" he mom yelled, "You know our religion! Your dad and I must meet your husband before anything! And if we don't like him…"

"You can't do anything about it!" cried Fiona, "if you want to meet him, come visit us in Russia before the wedding! He's really sweet and nice!"

"Ohh…Fiona!" Her mom said, "Okay, me and your dad are coming. But about you being a vampire? You're not really one are you?"

"No Mom, I'm not!"

"Ok, good," said her mom, "when is the wedding going to be?"

"Umm…we were thinking this Sunday," Fiona said.

"What?" said her mom, "so soon? Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"I don't know why," Fiona said.

"Now Fiona, that's no excuse. I'm your mother and you can tell me anything!" her mom said.

"I'm sorry!" said Fiona, "but we just didn't really know! Will you still come?"

"Yes, definitely! How could I miss my own daughter's wedding?" Her mom said, "But there's a question. Have you guys…"

"Umm…No," said Fiona. If she could have blushed, she would have.

"Good." Her mom said, "Your father would have been very upset if you said yes."

"Yeah, I know," said Fiona, "Okay, so I'll see you soon?"

"Yup," said her mom.

"Okay Mom. Bye!" She hung up the phone.

"How was it?" Josh asked her.

"Not that bad," Fiona said, "They want to meet you and were mad that we were getting married, but I think she's ok now."

"Oh…Okay!" Josh said.

"So…" Fiona said, "Your parents? What about them?"

"I'll call them now," he said. He dialed their number and his mom picked up.

"Hello," she said.

"Hey mom, it's me Josh…"

"Josh?" she said, "Where have you been? We heard from the pack that you're dating a vampire! Is this true?"

"Yeah, Mom. Not only dating, but engaged too."

"What?" his mother yelled, "You're about to marry a bloodsucker?"

"Hey!" Josh yelled, "Don't call her that! Besides, we love each other, so it shouldn't matter what we are, right?"

"It does matter!" his mother yelled, "You're about to marry a vampire!"

"So?" said Josh, "We love each other, that's all that matters!"

"Did you imprint?"

"Yes! I did! So there's nothing you or I can do about it!"

"Yeah, you're right. So when is this wedding?"

"Sunday."

"Okay, I'll be there."

"It's in Russia."

"Okay."

"Bye Mom." He hung up.

"How was it?" asked Fiona.

"Ok," said Josh, "but she wasn't too happy about me marrying a vampire."

"That's ok," Fiona said, "So, we have much more to plan."


	7. Chapter 7

_"That's ok," Fiona said, "So, we have much more to plan."_

* * *

Chapter Seven

They spent the rest of the week planning, making arrangements, and stuff like that. Saturday came soon, and Josh and Fiona still had something to do…

"What do we have left to do?" Fiona asked Josh.

"Umm… I think there's nothing else," Josh said.

"Ok," said Fiona, "so…um…Josh…I think we should…umm…you know. I look pale, remember."

"Oh yeah," said Josh.

So they went up to their room….

And the next morning it was their wedding day!

Fiona was so excited! She couldn't wait until 4:00 this afternoon, but first her parents had to meet Josh.

When her parents arrived, she introduced them to Josh.

"Hi," he said.

"Hello," he mother said politely; the look on her face wasn't, though.

"Well, Mom," said Fiona, "This is my soon to be husband."

"Nice to meet you," Fiona's dad said.

"I think you should get ready for the wedding," he mom said.

"Ok, bye," Fiona said.

"See you," her parents said.

So Fiona put on her wedding gown and met her bridesmaids, about to go into the hall when Josh came.

"Josh! Go! It's bad luck to see you before the wedding!" Fiona said.

"But I just wanted to say hi to my soon to be bride," he said.

She grinned at him, "Ok, well, get ready, it's about to start."

He left and the music began, but instead of "Here Comes the Bride," "Don't Trust Me" by 3oh!3 played!

Fiona yelled, "Stop! That's not the right song!"

But the musician wouldn't stop. When she turned around, Fiona saw that it was the witch from Russia!

"You're such a ho!" the witch yelled.

"What?" cried Fiona, "I am not! You're ruining my wedding!"

"Yes you are!" The witch pulled off her face, it was Megan Fox!

"Get away!" said Fiona, "You're NOT invited!"

"NO!" Meghan said, "This is MY wedding!"

She pulled off Fiona's dress and put it on.

"AAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Fiona screamed. Bella ran in front of her to cover her!

Then Josh said, "I am NOT marrying you, Meghan! I love Fiona! Get out!"

He called security to take her away while Fiona tried to get her dress back.

"Give it back!" Fiona yelled, "Right now!"

Fiona pulled it off of Meghan. Security dragged Meghan away.

"Fiona, you're such a b****!" Meghan cried before they dragged her away.

"I know!" Fiona said, "Now can we get on with the wedding?"

"Ok," said Josh. So after that the wedding went well and the party was great. Then they left for their honeymoon…

They decided to go to the Bahamas for their honeymoon…And stayed in the fanciest hotel.

"So, how does it feel to be married?" Josh asked Fiona.

"Amazing," Fiona said, "I can't believe you're all mine now! I'm Mrs. Coyne! I love you so much…"

"Me too," said Josh. Josh kissed Fiona intensely and they spent the next month on their honeymoon at the beach and having tons of fun and…stuff!

One night, they were in their hotel room and… Let's just say Fiona got a lot less pale on their honeymoon!

Josh and Fiona were out all day, and they came home and Zeus was in their hotel!

"What are you doing here?" Fiona cried indignantly.

"I…I…honestly don't know…" Zeus said.

"Umm…so you're in our hotel room and you don't know why?" Josh said.

"I don't know," Zeus said, "I just wanted to check in on you…you know, see how your honeymoon was going…"

He wagged his eyebrows.

"Zeus!" Fiona screamed, "What Josh and I do on our honeymoon is none of your business!"

He just smirked at them.

"I was hurt that you didn't invite me to your wedding," he said.

"Well…we didn't know when you would—"

"SO? You still should have invited me!"

"Sorry! We were under the impression you only cared about yourself!"

"What?" Zeus said, "How dare you?"

"'Cause you ditched Leah and her baby!" screamed Fiona.

"Fiona, calm down!" Josh said, "Look, Zeus, why don't you just go. You came and disturbed us on our honeymoon!"

"No!" Zeus said, "I will get what I want!"

"And what is that?" Fiona sneered.

"I want…my wishes back! And I want you two to divorce!"

"Why?" Fiona cried, "I did nothing to you!"

"Because I am Zeus! That's why!"

"Well, you can't make us divorce!" Fiona said.

"We're not divorcing!" Josh said.

"Well, then I guess I'll make you fall out of love!" Zeus said.


	8. Chapter 8

_"I want…my wishes back! And I want you two to divorce!"_

_"Why?" Fiona cried, "I did nothing to you!"_

_"Because I am Zeus! That's why!"_

_"Well, you can't make us divorce!" Fiona said._

_"We're not divorcing!" Josh said._

_"Well, then I guess I'll make you fall out of love!" Zeus said._

* * *

Chapter Eight

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fiona yelled.

Then she ran up to Zeus and tried to bite him, but Zeus blasted her back. Josh shifted into a wolf and ran up to Zeus, but Zeus zapped him back as well. Then suddenly, the goddess Aphrodite appeared… the goddess of love!

"Oh no…" Fiona said under her breath, "Josh, I. Love. You."

"I do too," Josh said. The goddess zapped a white orb of light! But Fiona was still in love with Josh.

"What did you do to us?" she asked.

"I gave you a protected shield," Aphrodite said, "I hate when Zeus messes up true love."

"OMG! Thank you soooo much! You are awesome! Thank you…" Fiona gushed, "But, umm, where is Josh?"

"I wasn't going to let you off that easy," the goddess said, "I'm still on Zeus's side… But Josh seemed rather sexy if I do say so myself. And Zeus can't be the only one with a werewolf kid!"

"Are you talking about MY Josh?" Fiona growled.

Aphrodite just smirked, "I may have saved _you_ from Zeus's blast, but Josh no longer remembers he's in love with you. Zeus wants you to experience what he felt… loving someone, but them not loving you…"

"But why me?" Fiona asked.

"You really don't know?"

"No I don't!" cried Fiona, "Tell me!"

"Zeus fell in love with you from the first time he saw you. He was very upset that you loved Josh. And he knew that Josh imprinted on you, so he had no chance."

"What?" cried Fiona, "But Zeus is such a womanizer! And he's married to Hera!"

"Well, he actually liked you Fiona…" Aphrodite said, "He never really liked anyone else, he wanted you!"

"Crap," said Fiona, "But I love Josh! We're meant to be together! You're the goddess of love, you must see that!"

"Yeah! I did see it, but it doesn't matter anymore anyways! 'Cause he's going to be mine!" she yelled, "He's sooooo sexaaaayyyyyyy!"

"Nooooooooooooo!" said Fiona, "He's mine!"

"Not anymore!" said Aphrodite, and she left.

"What am I going to do?" moaned Fiona. Fiona thought about this for a long time…_well, I guess I better make Josh fall in love with me again._

She didn't know how to do this though, and decided to go back to Forks to seek advice from everyone there.

She first went to Renesmee. She walked in on her and Jacob kissing, and got instantly jealous. When they spotted Fiona, they broke away, embarrassed.

"Sorry," Fiona said.

"It's ok," said Nessie, "What's up?"

Fiona told them what had happened.

"Are you kidding me?" Nessie yelled, "That's crazy!"

"I know right!" Fiona said, "I need help…I have to get Josh to fall in love with me again!"

"Yeah!" said Renesmee, "I don't know how to, but my friend Hermione is a witch and she might know how to make a love potion!"

"Really? Will Josh love me like he did before, or differently?"

"I'm not sure if it will be true love. Though, maybe she can make a reverse potion to reverse Zeus's spell"

So they all went to Britain where Hogwarts was and found Hermione. Nessie explained to her Fiona's dilemma.

"Oh god!" Hermione said, "You poor thing! Are you okay?"

"Sort of," said Fiona, "It's just hard."

"Yeah," said Hermione.

"So can you help us?" Fiona asked.

"I think so," said Hermione, "Let me just check my textbook…"

So Hermione started to create the potion. Everyone looked amazed!

"So you're not a witch either?" asked Hermione.

"No," said Fiona, "I'm a vampire. And Josh is a werewolf."

"That's cool! Werewolves are hot…" Hermione said.

"Yeah," said Fiona, "But don't you go thinking about Josh!"

"Oh, don't worry," Hermione smiled, "I'm dating a wizard named Ron. I won't steal your guy!"

Fiona gave her a dirty look.

"Sorry Hermione," Nessie said, "She's just a little overprotective lately…"

"It's okay!" said Hermione, "I know how that feels. This potion should be done soon. How are you going to find him to give it to him?"

"I have no idea," Fiona said, "I just hope Aphrodite hasn't done anything!"

"Aphrodite!" Nessie said.

"Yeah. She's fallen in love with Josh; she wants to have a werewolf kid. Didn't I tell you this?" asked Fiona.

"Noooooooooooooo! You didn't!" Nessie screamed.

"I didn't?" Fiona said, "I'm pretty sure I did…"

"Well it doesn't matter now, but we need to go!"

"Ok, is the potion done Hermione?"

Hermione nodded and poured it into a flask.

"Ok, let's go. I read that Mt. Olympus is on the Empire State Building."

"Okay…Let's go!" and they left.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Ok, is the potion done Hermione?"_

_Hermione nodded and poured it into a flask._

_"Ok, let's go. I read that Mt. Olympus is on the Empire State Building."_

_"Okay…Let's go!" and they left._

* * *

Chapter Nine

When they got to Mt. Olympus, the first god they saw was Zeus. Fiona froze. "How can I go in front of him now that I know he loves me?"

"You know what?" boomed Zeus.

"Er nothing…" said Fiona timidly.

"You did say something!" Zeus yelled, "Tell me what you know!"

"Okay, fine! I know you love me!" Fiona said.

Zeus ran up to her with a smile on his face.

"But I DON'T love _you_!" Fiona screamed, "I love Josh!"

Zeus kissed Fiona.

"Do you love me now?" Zeus yelled.

"Ewwwwwwwwwww! No!" Fiona said, "Get away from me you perv!"

Zeus looked upset.

"But how can you not love me?" he asked.

"Because I love Josh! And I'll never stop! He actually cares about me! You don't! I'm just another girl you want to get pregnant!"

Zeus looked shocked at this, "But…but…"

"But what?" Fiona said, "You have nothing to say. Do you?"

"But I love you!" said Zeus.

"No!" said Fiona, "I'm not going to be taken advantage of! Now please excuse us while we go rescue Josh."

"But…I'll never stop loving you! Your gorgeous, smart, you stand up for what you love, and I admire you. You're perfect Fiona. Marry me!"

"NO!" screamed Fiona, "I'm already married to Josh and I do and always will love him and only him!"

Zeus looked depressed, "I guess there is no point to me living."

"What?" Fiona screamed, "You're going to kill yourself over me? You can't kill yourself, you're a god! The world would fall apart!"

"Why would I stay alive?" Zeus said, "I can't have you…"

It made Fiona shiver that Zeus wanted her so badly…

"But what about Leah?" Fiona asked, "And your wife, Hera? And your brothers Poseidon and Hades…and all your kids! They'll miss you!"

"I don't care!" Zeus cried.

"Look, don't kill yourself," Fiona said.

"Okay, I won't," Zeus said.

"Thanks," Fiona said, "but I have a question."

"What's your question?"

"Can you please stay with Leah and Stefani? They really need you Zeus."

"But I really want to be with you," he said.

"I'm sorry," said Fiona, "But Leah still loves you, and Stefani really needs a father…"

"Okay, fine." Zeus said.

"Thanks," Fiona said. She patted his shoulder. He almost fell when she touched him. Fiona rolled her eyes.

"Bye Zeus."

Zeus disappeared with a pop and Fiona, Nessie, and Hermione set off to find Aphrodite and Josh.

They found them together, kissing on the beach. Fiona ran over to them.

"HE'S MINE!" she yelled.

"STUPID GIRL!" screamed Aphrodite, "He's mine!"

Fiona ran at her and Aphrodite zapped her. While they were fighting, Hermione fed the potion to Josh.

Fiona used her signature move and she choked Aphrodite so hard.

"Let me gooooo!" she yelled.

"Why should I?" Fiona said angrily.

"Because I'll kill you if you don't!"

Fiona grabbed harder.

"Really?" she asked. Aphrodite was trying to zap her away, but Fiona was making it impossible.

She was choking Aphrodite even harder now!

"Let me gooooo!"

"No!" Fiona said, "I'm tired of people trying to steal what's mine! Josh is MINE!"

At that moment Josh looked as though he had woken up from a long sleep.

"Fiona!" he sputtered, "I'm so sorry! I love you! I don't know what happened!"

"Josh! I love you too! And it's ok; I know you were under a potion. It's okay…"

Josh wanted to kiss Fiona right then, but first they had to deal with Aphrodite.

Fiona said, "I will spare you, but I will send you to Tartarus to rot forever!"

"What?" Aphrodite yelled, "Why?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Fiona said, "You stole my husband! And all you do is steal people's loves! Some goddess of love you are!"

Hermione snapped her fingers and Aphrodite was sent to Tartarus forever.

Fiona turned to Josh and he ran up to her and kissed her…

"I love you soooo much…" Josh said.

They kissed for a VERY long time. Then they said goodbye to Nessie and Hermione and thanked them.

Then they went home and lived happily ever after!

* * *

The End!


End file.
